Love can end abruptly

When it does, everyone wants a second chance. As humans we’re always trying to correct our mistakes and find where things went wrong.

As a man who has courted many different women, you learn a few tricks to the game, especially when it comes to winning back the affection of a spurned lover.

The following is what some could call a “players guide” to winning that true special someone back and making her never realize your sexy freakiness was even gone.

When the chips are down, steal something important to her, like per se, a favorite animal (cat, dog, etc.) and make sure not to get caught, because when Mr. Knight-In-Shining-Armor comes storming back with this “lost” animal, guess who’s looking like #1 in your lost loves eyes, oh yeah… That’s right. You are. Ten points right there.

Try also to reason with her on different ideas that could spice up the relationship. Women love the idea of a ménage et trois, which is the fancier (as in French) way to say threesome. What better way to say “I love you” then “let’s share me.” But no dudes, especially friend’s, cause that can just get weird.

After the breakup, be sure to call every five minutes, because you never know if she’s just getting back from whatever date with whatever loser she thinks is cooler than you. Everyone knows that true love takes the form of 48 missed calls, 26 voicemails, 14 texts and some light Facebook stalking.

Another really good tactic is to find a new woman as quickly as possible, and be sure she’s like 15 times hotter than the previous girl so you can rub it in.

Wait a second, this one’s kind of stupid. If you find the super-hot one, who the hell wants to go back to the not as hot one? I mean, you don’t return the new Lexus you got for your old 1970 AMC Gremlin you just traded in, just because you have some attachment to it.

Screw that, new is always better. Hell the new Lexus probably rides better anyway (Lexus is a euphemism for the new woman, tee hee).