Guest speaker, Max-Laine Alexis, co-author of Are You A “Crazy” Baby Mama?, spoke to a group of Moorpark College students in the auditorium at the EATM building on Thursday, March 21.

Alexis along with her counterpart John Russel, came to Moorpark College in an event sponsored by the on-campus CalWORKs and EOPS/CARE programs to share her story of the challenges of balancing single parenthood while trying to attain an education at the same time.

“I remember being a student and having two different experiences,” said Alexis. “One without a child and one with a child.”

Alexis recalled that while her classmates were out partying, she was at home taking care of her daughter and that her classmates were surprised to hear it.

She realized that she had been making friends with the wrong crowds.

“When you’re making friends, pick ones that have the same interest as you,” Alexis said.

In 2008, Alexis lost her job, home, and car all within a span of 10 months. She created a workshop while she was homeless with her daughter to create an open forum for everyone to speak freely and not be judged. She also wanted to inspire mothers to let it go and allow the father to be in the child’s life.

“Over 24 million kids live without their fathers,” Alexis said, “That comes out to about one in every three children in this country without the other parent.”

According to Russel he actually wanted to be in his child’s life.

“It felt like the greatest time of my life,” Russel said. “Then I met Max-Laine and I really wanted to share my similar story.”

Russel explained that many people don’t accept the fact that they now have a child.

“Own up to having a baby. You made the decision,” said Russel. “Guys should want to see their kids. It’s not about the child support, it’s about the kid.”

By the time Alexis had her daughter, all of her friends had already graduated. While in college, she faced many hardships along the way and it took her the better part of 10 years to finish.

Alexis explained that distractions are an inevitable part of life, and they will have to be dealt with accordingly.

“You’re like a magnet,” Alexis said. “Anyone and everything is attracted to you and will distract you.”

Russel had some encouraging words to fathers who are consistently absent from the child’s life.

 “It’s all about owning the situation,” he said.

The last portion of the event included questions and comments from members of the audience directed to Alexis and Russel.

Linda Corrigan, project coordinator for CALWORKs at Moorpark College shared some of her thoughts regarding the relationship between parents.

“The key thing is to keep the relationship alive, it’s crucial,” Corrigan said. “It is very important you don’t put pressure on the other parent, otherwise the children will become divisive when they get older.”

Alexis closed off with some words of advice to everyone who is currently in a difficult situation.

 “When you’re struggling, it’s temporary,” she said. “You will get through it. It is not a life sentence.”