Okay, I understand awarding exemplary performance in something, no matter what the field. One of the best ways of encouraging people to excel is the awards process; but, once again, the plague upon mankind known as “celebrities,” have managed to turn something as fun and harmless as awards into a complete and total abomination.

Every time I turn around there’s another awards show on TV. There are the Oscars, the Grammys, the Emmys, the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, MTV Video Music Awards, MTV Movie Awards, the Country Music Awards and so on and so on. My God, when will it end?

I’ve always been aware of the fact the celebrities are the most self-absorbed, egotistical people in the world, but this is just ridiculous. How many times do I have to listen to people say that “Brokeback Mountain” is the best movies of the year? I have been listening to people say that since before “Brokeback Mountain” was even released! And quite frankly, how many times do the makers of these movies have to be TOLD that their film is the best movie of the year? Aren’t their egos over-inflated enough?

Not to mention the “Lifetime Achievement” specials that are held where a huge auditorium of celebrities show up to stroke the ego of another celebrity. I can just imagine what’s going through their minds, “All of these people are here, and they all showed up because I am so wonderful!”

Personally, I cannot imagine a group less deserving of accolade. Come on, these people do NOTHING! Not only do they do nothing, they get paid disgusting sums of money to do nothing. Actors do not deserve to get so much recognition; they dedicate their lives to playing make believe! They are professional pretenders!

Now, I don’t think we should flat out abandon the award show. I’m just wondering why there have to be so many of them for the exact same thing. Why can’t we just have the academy awards? Oh, wait, I know why. It’s because celebrities love being told how wonderful they are on a daily basis. How stupid of me.