“Wolfenstein” harkens back to a time in video games where a story was cardboard thin and its fun value was directly linked to how big the guns were and how much gore could be inflicted.
These are the game’s strong suits, which help to distract from its lack of originality or ambition.
Set in a fictional WWII, you play William “B.J.” Blazkowicz. He’s a square-jawed GI who discovers a medallion that can stop bullets and vaporize enemies while taking down a German cruiser.
He takes the medallion to his superiors, who connect this to the Nazi occupied hamlet, Isenstadt, where the Third Reich are experimenting with bizarre occult artifacts.
Of course B.J. agrees to investigate and stop the evil Axis from taking over “ze world!”
What immediately stands out about “Wolfenstein” is the fact that it never attempts to reinvent the wheel, instead opting to present a polished shooter. For the most part it succeeds, with functional controls and decent enemy intelligence.
As if plasma spewing zombies and skin tight leather clad Nazi women wasn’t campy enough, the game also gives you a set of weapons that further urinate on historical accuracy, such as a “Tesla” gun that sends enough electricity through an enemy to send them airborne and a cannon that vaporizes enemies to dust.
These are the highlight of the game, as there is still a giddy kind of joy in pointing a handheld death machine at a Nazi soldier and watching the blood splatter the screen. It’s not exactly a highbrow experience, but it will never go out of style in the video game medium.
There are also a set of powers triggered by tapping into The Veil, an alternate dimension that allows you to do such things as slow down time and create a shield for yourself. Again, it’s nothing that hasn’t been seen before or done better in other games, but it’s still a nice touch that adds a layer of strategy.
One of the odder things about “Wolfenstein” is the fact that it has no handgun or shotgun, two of the genre’s mainstays.
The handgun isn’t missed too much, but getting in close range to blast buck shot and spray an enemies grey matter onto the adjacent wall is an important experience in a shooter; omitting it feels like sacrilege.
You will also probably notice that the box lists “online multiplayer” as a feature, but it’s best advised to ignore it. Put simply, the games multiplayer feels like a massive afterthought, and a poor one at that.
Everything that makes the “Wolfenstein” universe stand out from every other run-of-the-mill WWII game is absent from the multiplayer, meaning there are no fancy weapons and otherworldly Veil maps.
It may be possible to get some enjoyment out of the game with a few friends online, but it’s nothing that will draw your attention away from games likes “Left 4 Dead” or “Team Fortress 2.”
Your enjoyment out of “Wolfenstein” will depend on what you’re looking for. If you want innovation that takes chances, you’ll be disappointed. But as a game that is happy to just create a polished Nazi killing experience, “Wolfenstein” is more than worth the price of admission.
