To some, the day known as Black Friday is the best shopping day of the year in terms of sales and discounts that showcase the lengths that some stores will go to.

One establishment set on boosting sales and trouncing the competition is the black market.

Despite having already low prices year round, the black market will be slashing prices even further in an attempt to draw more people in.

The market has the versatility of a Walmart; it is stocked with everything from AK-47s to bootleg DVDs of the films “Life As We Know It” and “Killers,” but with cleaner aisles and helpful employees.

The market is open 24/7 and plans to start the sales promptly at 12:01 a.m. on Friday morning.

Some of the hottest items that will be up for sale include; Fo-lex brand watches at a mere four rubies, a new kidney for that loved one in denial of their addiction for only 15 dollars and clothes for children featuring pop culture icon Mickey Moose.

Stock of these items and others offered is abundant, shoppers need not worry about arriving early to ensure getting good deals like they do with stores like Target or, once again, the dumpster fire known as Walmart.

For some of those people on your lists’ that are a bit harder to shop for, the black market carries many unique gifts sure to put a smile on their face.

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a defunct landmine.

Nothing says “Happy Hanukkah” like a radio pried out of a Toyota Corolla.

Lastly, nothing says “Happy Kwanza” like a DVD of “Due Date” with a picture that only shakes for 45 minutes because the person filming it had to continually hide his camera while people walked by.

So while others are lined up like buffoons, early in the morning and driving from store to store in search of the best deals, you can visit the black market for all your needs under one roof for a price that can only be described as a steal.