I’m not a drinker. At 5’3 and 120, conservative, (and not to mention underage), drinking has never been a big interest of mine. It seems like living in a small town where you’re close to a big city, but not close enough to go every weekend, people resolve to do the one thing that college students seem to best: study…just kidding.

Drink.

Seems like the same questions pop up even in the most studious of college social circles, “It’s Friday, what do you want to do?” Students go off their mental check list of possible “cool” things to do, and one by one they make a big red ‘X ‘on the things that are soon deemed “uncool.”

So when all else fails, the one thing that makes even the most boring of situations a bit more exciting seems to be the serum of truth, the liquid of courage, the Dionysian juice: alcohol. I’m sure the first couple times it’s exciting, but how many times can you wake up with your face plastered to the porcelain bowl of drinking aftermath before you realize “Hey man, maybe I should’ve done something else last night.” Being accustomed to spending Saturday nights studying or even cleaning my room I’ve complied a small list of things to do that won’t result in a dreadful hangover the next morning.

1. See a movie at a small local theatre such as the Westlake Village Twint.

2. Have a slumber party. No, it’s not lame…you probably haven’t been to one in almost a decade. They were fun then, and fun now. I promise.

3. Get lost. Hop on your car. Don’t use your fancy navigation equipment, don’t use a map, turn on random streets and see where you end up.

4. Play solitaire, but in a group.

5. Rent Rocky, all 13 of the series. Start from the first, and work your way through. Good times.

6. Get down with your artistic side. Write a song, create a musical instrument, write a story, go to a poetry reading, see a local band, and paint a wall.

7. Make a giant sling shot and catapult various objects (non-sharp/non-flammable ones) at targets or walls. Safety goggles are advised

8. Get some friends together and call the customer service hotlines for DELL, MSN, or AOL. Most of them are not fluent in English and have a great sense of humor. Make up a problem with your computer.

9. Spend time with your family. You share your DNA with them. Why not?

10. Masturbate.