At Moorpark College a new class was introduced which will focus on educating the growing Juggalo student population.
“These kids can barely function, so we will be going over very elementary English, math and science, assuming any of them can operate a vehicle long enough to get here.” said sociology Professor Scott Meyer. “This class will also be a great chance for me to catch up on my drinking and look at where I am in my life.”
Meyer will teach the class with help from Squiya Killa-Face, an intellectual within the Juggalo community.
“These guys ain’t retarded or any of that or anything, they just freakin, man they like, they need the record set straight,” Killa-Face screamed while making wild arm gestures.
Juggalos, the name for a member of a fan community centered on semi rap group and semi musicians the Insane Clown Posse, have attained negative press over the years for a general lack of any kind of higher cognitive abilities and confusion over magnets.
“The first class we will be covering magnets, where I will be going over magnetic fields and really everything that you could spend five minutes looking up on wikipedia,” said Meyer.
This will then be followed by a presentation from Killa-Face, who will take two earth magnets, hold them out for the class to see and then put them together.
“And when those magnets stick together man, those students is gonna go wild,” said Killa-Face while jumping up and down on his desk. “Man, that’s a miracle right there. You don’t even got to be high to see that.”
Meyer says having a Juggalo help teach the class is vital to lending a sense of legitimacy to the students.
“When I try to teach anything by myself, these kids just throw stuff at me,” said Meyer. “But when they see a guy in bad clown makeup, stained clothes from Hot Topic and a glazed over expression standing next to me they usually listen.”
Killa-Face agreed with this sentiment as he screamed “ICP Backyard Wrestling” and stuffed Meyer in a trash can that had been lit on fire.
“Man, these kids just get pissed off by these professors, ya feel me?” said Killa-Face. “I’m there to let them know it’s all good, man like, I’m one of them.”
Killa-Face gained notoriety in the Juggalo community when he put out a grease fire at a gathering of the Juggalos by yelling at it for 30 minutes straight.
“Apparently that’s all it takes to become an intellectual with them,” said Meyer.
The class is scheduled to begin in the Spring, and both Meyer and Killa-Face are confident they can make it a success for students.
“It’s gonna be so mad son, for real,” said Killa-Face.
“I really hate my life,” Meyer added.
