The great thing about this country is that any crazy kook can get politically active. All one needs is a little elbow grease and more time on one’s hands than any normal person should have.

With the November Mid-Term Elections inching closer and closer, it can be a daunting task deciding which party a citizen should waste his or her vote on. And there are plenty to choose from. It’s like a Chinese buffet. A buffet that tastes really great at first but later sits in your stomach like a bar of lead making you wish you’d never taken part in the first place. Here is a list of just a few of the political parties available in America along with a brief description.

Republican Party – The Republican Party has come a long way since the days of the American Civil War and its noble abolitionist policies. Now they spend their time hopping in bed with the Saudi royal family and drinking the blood of newborn puppies.

Democratic Party – These are the people that insist on adding “-American” to the end of every known ethnic group.

Green Party – If you love chaining yourself to trees while the Republican Party smears your guts all over the ground with their bulldozers of freedom (freedozers), this party is for you.

Communist Party – Sounds fun but the average day for a communist is hours and hours of marching and waiting in line for toilet paper. Have fun, comrade.

Whig Party – They’re still around?

Anarchy – Although it technically isn’t a political party, anarchy can easily turn any mundane plane crash on a deserted island into one helluva experience. But trust me. Once everybody starts trying to steal the conch and kill Piggy, the fun is pretty much over.No Affiliation – Not a team player, huh?

Let’s try and have fun this election season. Here’s an idea. Every time you hear a candidate mention September 11, take a swig of tequila.