Single Awareness Day, or S.A.D. for short, could be called the evil twin of the happy couple, red rose giving, Valentine’s Day. A message to those of us who are valentine-less in this season of love; don’t worry! This year our ice cream tubs and wine bottles can stay full with some planning ahead, and listening to the advice given by some professionals.
As a society, we have turned Feb. 14 into a day where loads of money should be spent on flowers, candy, and jewelry to make sure that our significant other feels appreciated. But why do we do this when it leaves those without a Valentine feeling insecure and alone.
“Self compassion is something that is so important to have,” said licensed psychologist Dr. Kimberly Wulfert who practices at the Holistic Healing Center in Ventura. “People need to realize that we all are the same on the inside, with the same feelings of insecurities. You need to give yourself some credit. Think about your best friend and what you would say to them if they were feeling sad about Valentine’s Day, and then close your eyes and say it to yourself.”
Like Wulfert, licensed therapist Candy Bartole, who practices at offices in both Ventura and Westlake Village, felt very strongly about the fact that people are too self-critical.
“Around this time of year, I see a lot of sadness,” said Bartole. “People know its Valentine’s Day and they feel like there must be something wrong with them for still being single.”
One student Mikaela Morton, 20, said “in elementary school Valentine’s Day was fun because everyone got a piece of candy and no one was left out. But now it’s turned into such a serious thing where if you have no one to give you candy it’s depressing!”
Morton wasn’t the only student that had the same feelings of neglect, but Bartole get a great piece of advice to those of us that wish the mandatory candies were still mandatory. “If you feel like what you want are the flowers, or jewelry that you see others getting, than go buy it for yourself! Be your own Valentine. You can’t expect someone else to want to give you love and attention if you can’t do that on your own.”
It’s an age old expression; “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else” so if you’re single this Valentine’s day, treat yourself to some love. Go out with friends, go on a shopping spree, and do whatever it is that you need to do to make sure that your singles awareness day isn’t actually a sad one.
“This is just one Thursday! It is one day out of the year. Just because you don’t happen to have someone on that particular Thursday the 14 that does not mean that it will always be this way,” said Bartole.
If you, or anyone you know is dealing with some kind of depression, both Bartole, and Wulfert have said that they are more than willing to talk. Both are located in Ventura County and you can contact either through their websites listed below. Moorpark College also offers free counseling in the health center from licensed professionals to anyone who feels like they need it.
MoorparkCollege Health Center
Administration Building Rm. 111
(805) 378-1413
