Medieval Times falls in the same category as Chuck E. Cheese or Disneyland. A cheesy place of entertainment intended for younger children but at the same time a place for older folks to feel like a kid again.

If you’re not familiar with Medieval Times, it is kind of the king of all dinner theaters in Southern California. Guests are served a whole lot of meat while they watch dashing young knights beat the crap out of each other with prop swords.

There’s some plot mixed in there somewhere. Something about the prince being locked in a tower by the very arrogant green knight. The king wants to make peace with the green knight’s kingdom. All that somehow leads to a tournament between the knights.

But nobody goes to Medieval Times for a compelling story.

Parts of the performance were strange, confusing and sometimes just annoying. At one point, an old man rode out on his horse started dancing with it for about ten minutes. I understand that it takes an equine master to do that sort of thing, but who cares? And the woman that played the princess was just awful. Every time she said her lines, it was like a knife in my ear. She was bad in comparison to the other bad actors, which is pretty bad. I know Medieval Times isn’t necessarily an acting hub but let’s not try to annoy the audience. There is an upside to these downsides. It gives the audience time to focus on finishing their ribs.

Medieval Times is exactly what you would expect. It’s a cheesy melodrama that is fun for the whole family. But it wouldn’t be Medieval Times if it was any other way.

One last note: When you see your server on the arena during opening flag ceremony, give him or her a cheer. They could really use the moral support.