Domestic abuse should no longer be considered a natural part of human existence or a commonality.

The blame should be taken from the victims and placed on the abusers. It’s not for us to decide why women stay with abusers, or in the case of NFL player Ray Rice and Janay Palmer, why she married him after he knocked her out back in Feb. in an Atlantic City casino elevator.

Rice, a Ravens running back, and then fiancé Janay Palmer were arrested for assault at the Revel Casino in Atlantic City, but were cleared of criminal charges after participating in a program for first-time offenders, according to the LA Times.

Although the incident was described by Rice’s attorney as a minor incident, a video was publicly released Sept. 8 that showed otherwise.

TMZ publicly released a video that clearly shows the running back strike Palmer in the face, knocking her unconscious. The video then continues to show Rice dragging the unconscious Palmer out of the elevator.

Palmer has been publicly supporting her husband and abuser after the incident.

The question then arises as to whether or not Palmer can be considered a victim if she stayed with her abuser.

“I love my husband,” said Palmer in an issued statement. “I support him. I want people to respect our privacy in this family matter.”

However this is not the first time celebrity domestic violence has been brought to the public’s attention. These cases resulted in similar responses from the public and officials.

This reaction has been labeled as victim blaming. Victim blaming is a common reaction our society faces when presented with situations of assault or abuse. As the name suggests victim blaming occurs when the victim of the crime is met with criticism, blame, or even harassment.

“Leave #RayRice alone,” tweeted Erica Jones. “She still married him after that right? #DomesticViolence is never ok. But she decided to stay. So hey.”

When analyzing the case of Rice and Palmer many responses follow this victim-blaming formula. Many people believe that the fault lies in Palmer for staying with Rice or that the incident of abuse should be ignored since Palmer has seemingly forgiven her assailant.

However, a new development has arisen from the Rice and Palmer incident via twitter, causing a trending topic called #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft. This new reaction captures the voices of victims of domestic abuse and explains, as the hashtag suggests, why they stayed with their abuser and why they were finally able to leave.

“I felt shame being a single mother,” tweeted Asha Bandele. “I felt worse knowing my daughter saw him hit me #WhyILeft.”

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, despite most cases of domestic violence never being reported to the police.

Regardless of whether or not a victim decides to stay, the main focus should be turned towards learning why the abuse begins in the first place. Ray Rice, despite his achievements in sports, knocked his fiancé unconscious inside an elevator. Palmer, like many other victims of domestic abuse, stayed with her abuser.

but it is not too farfetched to believe that it may be similar to the plethora of reasons given by the voices of #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft.

Voices on #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft have given the public a more intimate insight on the struggles of the abused in domestic violence cases. Yet the the truth will remain that only Palmer truly knows why she stayed.