Family was a hot topic this Multicultural Day when Jill and Kathleen McCall presented their seminars.

Jill McCall, communications instructor, gave her talk, “Queen Spawned” based around her own experiences growing up with lesbian parents, and how it shaped her personal narrative, while Kathleen McCall, her mother, presented ” I Lost My Mom, But I Found Myself,” a seminar on dementia.

Jill McCall’s presentation centered around her childhood, mostly the struggles of having to keep her mother’s sexuality secret.

“Parents getting divorced, now versus then, I’d say, is a little difficult to navigate, and failing third grade is never fun, but when your mom comes out to you in the midst of the 80s versus 2016 or 17, it’s a bit different experience,” said McCall.

McCall described the tension that characterized the decade for homosexuals, from the anti-gay slogans to the pro-AIDS banners. The political climate was much different than today’s.

“There was some imagery and rhetoric that really scared the shit out of my eight year old self,” said McCall.

In order to protect both herself and her mother, McCall took on the role of keeping her mother’s secret safe. This meant hiding all of her mother’s decorations when friends came to visit.

“There were so many pink triangles and rainbow flags in my house, it looked like fucking We-Ho…I was like pulling down paraphernalia all the time,” said McCall. “I think at that moment in my life, I really learned kinda, to put on this facade, and it really was a strength that I think I learned about being able to position myself, to be able to navigate through difficult conversations.”

McCall then went on to talk about how her childhood shaped her into the effective communicator she is today by transforming her backstory.

“When you discover your personal narrative, it will not only guide you to find your life’s mission, but it will also serve as a lifelong source of inspiration.” said McCall

While Jill McCall was presenting her seminar, her mother Kathleen McCall was preparing for her talk on dementia.

Kathleen McCall gave her presentation along with Gale Taylor, a gerontologist who studies the effects of aging. Together they talked about the unexpected benefits of being a dementia caregiver, with a focus on Kathleen McCall’s mother.

“Caregivers go willingly and unwillingly. Honestly, I did not have a good relationship with my mother when this first happened, and I did not want to take care of her, and yet it was on me,” said Taylor.

McCall said that she had some difficulties when it came to her own mom as well.

I observed other parents coming in to visit their parents, and I could see they were very frustrated,” said McCall.

McCall eventually learned to overcome the challenges she faced with her mother, and said that once that happened, she and her mother were able to become closer than ever before.

“It’s not about being right, it’s about being in the moment, and that’s how my mother lives her life,” McCall. “When I’m with her, it’s moment to moment, and those moments, when we’re quiet, and we’ll cuddle, I sit there and I think, you know, I lost my mom, but I’ve learned so much, I found different parts about myself that I didn’t know.”